Progress on Safelight Quilts

It has been an awful week this past week. The death of my cousin is still painful, and to make it worse, it came on the heels of a betrayal of trust from someone I thought was a close friend for the past 15 years. I confided to her a private family problem, as I needed someone to talk to. This so-called ‘friend’ then discussed it in public, making me the subject of conversation in a sewing group meeting, revealing my private situation. She has refused to acknowledge that what she did was wrong, and also refused to apologize, preferring to end our friendship instead. It has been almost too much to bear. But, I have to tell you all, your wonderful words of comfort on my last post, your prayers and thoughts, virtual hugs, cards in the mail, and your personal emails have meant the world to me. I am so very grateful for the outpouring of support as I learn to live with the sorrow of my cousin’s loss.

Sewing has always been my therapy, and working on quilts these past few days has helped. Progress has been made on the quilts our local guild is doing for Safelight. The red and white mountain peaks top quilting was finally finished. I used white thread and a swirly pantograph called Fascination.

The backing is bright with a lot of yellow, and using it for binding didn’t really go well with the top. So I cut binding from a red dot fabric, and sewed it onto the backside first. You can see here that my choice of white thread was a poor one, as it sticks out too much on the backing fabric. I wish I had used red instead, but that would have put a lot of pattern into the white background areas that I thought I didn’t want. Oh well, too late now.

Next, I turned the binding to the top and stitched it down by machine.

Binding finished, and a label was added to the back. I really like this red and cream combination.

All done and ready to donate.

Moving on to the next group of blocks that were sent in by readers, I had a rainbow in mind. Pulling greens, reds, purples and blues, I had enough to do an angled stripe.

I stacked the blocks, and picked up the rows to sew with the web method I showed before.

Sewing in order, I didn’t have to think about placement or worry about getting it right. I knew it would be, and I could let the hum of the sewing machine and the therapy of putting thread into fabric work on my bruised heart.

This goes so fast, it only took me an hour to assemble into the web.

Then the rows were pressed and sewn in a jiffy, now ready to quilt. I need to determine what stash fabric I have for backing and get it loaded on the longarm. I’ll be counting that fabric out in our Stashbuster Challenge, starting on Friday.

So, for now, I’ll take things one day at a time. I have gone back to read all your comments again and again, as they have brought much comfort to me. Thank you all for your support and understanding.

71 thoughts on “Progress on Safelight Quilts

  1. karenfae

    you have had a rough week or more sorry your friend betrayed you that would be hard after all that was going on – hope you can get past it ok and focus on the positive

  2. Rheanna

    I am so sorry that you have had so many things weighing on your heart. Sewing therapy is really the best kind. Both tops turned out beautifully.

    1. Mary Ed Williams

      Like all, I am so sorry for your loss. I have two cousins that I grew up hanging out with. They hit 80 before me but I am next – still can’t believe we all got old! This happened to other people, not us! I thought about the possibility of losing them. Made me so very sad.
      Quilts are wonderful. Your hard work will be so loved.
      And 2022 WILL get better!
      Mary Ed

  3. Linda B

    It is so annoying we have to go through things like this! I’m glad you have your quilting therapy working. Like someone else said, sending virtual hugs! Hang in there!

  4. Firstly, my condolences on the loss of your cousin. I lost my lovely brother in law 2 months ago – he had been in my life for 64 years and his death leaves a big hole in our family so I can appreciate how raw your feelings are. Very sorry to hear a person you thought was a trusted friend has let you down so much. Your two quilts are very pretty – good that sewing them was so therapeutic. I like your choice of white thread for quilting the red and cream quilt and think it works beautifully. The quilting shows up nicely on the colourful background. Well done.

  5. I am so sorry that person was so cruel to you. Once a trust is broken, it can’t be repaired. Just remember you are a good loving generous person and there are a lot of people who care for you that you’ve never met.

  6. Lenora

    It always hurts to have someone betray the trust we give them. She has lost so much more than you have in this situation. She has made a huge mistake and chose to make it even worse. You and your cousin have the everlasting memories that great friends have forever. You will, after a time, be able be to deal with the sadness that will continue to trouble you. In the meantime know that you continue to be in my prayers and that I am praying that your heart will begin to mend.

  7. Brenda @ Songbird Designs

    I’m continuing to pray for you Carole. With the loss of your cousin, and now this betrayal, I do know how your heart is hurting. I’ve been in both situations. The loss of a loved one will ease over time and you will start to honor them with the wonderful memories you shared. The betrayal/loss of a friend is very painful, especially when they shared information you told them in private and won’t even acknowledge their wrong doing. I pray she comes to realize what she did was wrong and tries to make it right with you. On a happier note, the quilts are beautiful. Sewing and quilting is great therapy, even if you have to do it through tears at times. I’m sending you a big hug and prayers that your heart will begin to heal very soon. <<>>

  8. Cathy R Weatherford

    Carole, I am so sorry about your cousin, but so glad you have your stitching to help your heart to heal. As for your friend, and I use that term loosely, I was told once, that a common sentiment during WW2, was “May all your rabbits die” when a friend turned out to not really be a friend. So my wish for her is, may all your rabbits die. I am so sorry for all the hurt and loss going on for you right now.

    1. Carole, I’m sorry you’ve had these hard things going on in your life in recent weeks. Your quilting village is sending out lots of love and hugs! I’m so glad you got some sewing therapy this week. Both quilts are beautiful and will bring such comfort!

  9. Oh my goodness! I didn’t realize that you were dealing with e betrayal of your trust in addition o the loss of your cousin. Each one is such a loss and to deal with both at the same time takes a lot of strength. You are stronger than you think. Keep sewing and doing all of the other things that you do – cooking, taking drives, your garden, etc. Best wishes.

  10. Julie

    Growing up with my cousins a house or two apart, we’re all as close as siblings. The depth of your loss is so understandable. The ‘friend’ thing – that probably explains why people chose a paid therapist where confidentiality is assured. She won’t apologize because that would be admitting she was wrong. Sewing is soothing & quilts never tell your secrets. Sending you a virtual hug & a shoulder to cry on.

  11. Hi Carole! I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your cousin. I know you were close and cannot imagine the hole in your heart. Having so many shared memories will certainly help to close that hole a bit, but it will be difficult for many days to come. {{Hugs}} I am so sorry. And then to have a close friend betray you?! That is almost worse, knowing they purposely shared a confidence. While you have more than your fair share of heartbreak, please know that your quilting community of friends hold you close in their prayers. {{Hugs}} a bunch for you. ~smile~ Roseanne

  12. Hi Carole, I am so sorry to hear about your cousin and I pray your heart heals over time. Take time to grieve, then remember all the good times you shared. You will honor her memory with all those wonderful memories. I’m sorry, too, to hear about this trouble with your friend. I, too, have a friend who has chosen to be difficult. We met through our husbands, who were best friends. We shared a similar interest in quilting and had many nice times together. Four years ago, I went on a bus trip with a group of quilters to MSQC. She declined when I asked her to go with me, so I went by myself and had a great time! After that, she stopped talking to me and our friendship ended (her choice). I believe she had regrets about not going and instead of forgiving herself, she blamed me. I was, of course, angry and hurt, but I found solace and healing in the power of Forgiveness. It is not easy, but I found that once you truly forgive, those negative feelings that drain your life’s energy melt away and you can find happiness in everyday. And now, after three years of silence, my friend has begun to contact me again a little at a time. You are a loving and giving person, Carole. Concentrate on the good and on those who truly love you and bask in the positive. Forgiveness. Embrace the power of it when you are ready. It works! My life was changed for the better and yours can be too!

  13. Rita C.

    Oh, wow, Carole, I am really sorry for the betrayal. It’s almost like suffering another death, while you’re still reeling from the death of your cousin. I love the reds and creams on your safelight quilt. Know that you have readers who care (me!), and always welcome your visits through blogging.

  14. Barbara G.

    So sorry to hear about the loss of your cousin and now your best friend. Both hurt so much. You have wonderful memories of your cousin which will be with you forever. As for your friend, that hurt will diminish and your hurt will fade away. There is nothing you can do about either except to go on. Better and happier things will take their place.
    Love your patterns and everyday posts. You are an inspiration in so many things that you do. Prayers and blessings to you in 2022!

  15. CarolE

    I am so sorry for your loss and I grieve with you. Cherish the memories you have with the times spent with your cousin. As for the “friend”, know that you are a good, kind, and very generous person and you are loved by so many people.

    Your safelight quilts are beautiful and I especially love the red and cream one.

  16. Cherish your many memories of your beloved cousin. She will always be with you.

    So sorry about the betrayal of your “friend.” You now know what kind of person she really is and better without her. From you posts it is abundantly clear that you are a generous, thoughtful, caring, kind and good person. You are loved and appreciated.

    The safelight quilt turned out beautifully. Love the red, white and cream. And, the rainbow one is going to be fantastic. Continue your sewing therapy.

    Sending hugs.

  17. Carole, what a hard time to lose your cousin who was more like a sister and then to have what you thought was a good friend to betray your trust. I am so sorry, I do care and am keeping you in my prayers.

  18. Deb Bernardson

    I truly understand your feelings about your friend. It has happened to me, and it is almost like losing a loved one to death. Your heart just breaks thinking that a friend would betray your feelings in such a way. In my case, money was more important than my friendship. My heart still breaks when I think of it. Your (ex) friend has no idea of what she has lost! But she will someday when it is too late. I will pray for your heart to mend. You have been through a lot

  19. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. Think of all the quilty comfort and hugs that are going to come to those who receive a Safelight quilt. You are so creative, kind and generous. I love all your Safelight quilts, but this one with a rainbow layout is brilliant. So cheerful.

  20. Val J

    I love that the quilting shows on the back. It looks good. I hope each new day brings you some small joy to help heal your broken heart.

  21. Joan Sheppard

    Quilting therapy has kept me going this year after the loss of my husband in April. Amazing how doing for others can lift us up. Making the quilts, the colorful fabrics, reminders of shopping for the fabrics, maybe a local store or while on vacation someplace special. With these donated blocks, how far they came to be at your door, another hand reaching out to you, to your vision. Thanks for all the things you do.

  22. Elizabeth Rodgers

    Your real sewing friends will be by your side and realize what this “special” friend is about. I am so sorry times are challenging now but all of us are with you. Now let’s get serious … just what kind of wine or mms should we eat while making your beautiful quilt.

  23. Kim J LeMere

    Losing anyone at this time of the year is extra difficult and I send my sincere sympathy. A friends betrayal is extra painful when you have had a friendship for 15 years, I’m sorry this happened to you. I want you to know that I enjoy reading your blog and I find joy in your beautiful place setting, delicious meals and your sharing of your talents with quilting keep me inspired. Hugs to you

  24. Patricia Evans

    Carole, I’m glad you are able to dive back into quilting to help ease your grief and feelings of betrayal from someone you trusted. As I am finding, there are many emotions to deal with as one grieves and finding a balance is difficult. I haven’t had much desire to sew and know I must push myself to get back to it. There are so many other forces out there disturbing our lives that we need to concentrate on self-care while accepting the healing thoughts from our friends. You are certainly not alone as too many others are dealing with trauma and loss, but our friends remain eager to ease our burden. May you find peace in the days ahead.

  25. Jean McKinstry

    Grief and a betrayal, all too much too close together. Your so called friend is the one who has lost, and she needs to realise and admit her error.Maybe she does know but doesn’t know how to fix it. The quilt top is beautiful, often fabric, or time in the garden, can be healing,Let our love be in your heart and help the sorrow from both start to ease, and loving memories fill the huge hole.

  26. Liz Brown

    So sorry, I had the same thing happen years ago. It is sad when you lose a friend but I am sure there is a new one around the corner. You have a lot to offer. Keep quilting and maybe start a new project. You have a lot of patterns & ideas. Take care. Liz

  27. Brenda Furlong

    So sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. Having suffered losing loved ones and having lost a close friend because our values no longer aligned, I can understand how you are feeling. It is deep and is on going, I think. You are such a talented person, so involved and caring. Thank you for all the joy you provide so many, definitely including me!

    Are you needing any more blocks for the Safelight Quilt? I need some inspiration to get out of my doldrums if you do.

  28. I truly wish you the best of healing energies. How amazing there are so many similar betrayals from “friends”. Mine happened shortly after my Mom dying, by way of a phone call no less. Never heard from her again. It wasn’t a pleasant experience but my true friends and my dear husband helped me. For me a betrayal is too toxic to maintain in my mind. I hope you can put that memory where it belongs- the trash file. All my prayers for continuing healing. CA Bobbie

  29. I’m so sorry to read about your supposed friends betrayal of your trust, 15 years of friendship obviously didn’t mean too much to her. If she is not sorry, as she says, then you are better off without her. Guess the only problem is that she could well be in the clubs etc that you mix in?
    No wonder you are upset, with coming so close on the heels of losing your cousin.
    I visited my late sisters family last week, she passed away four months ago. Her grown children asked me for a hug, as they said I looked so like their Mum, so that was very special.
    Take care.

  30. Sewing truly is therapy, and I am glad to hear that you are finding it a comfort, as I have in the past. What a sad ending to what had been a long friendship; I am so sorry; you didn’t need that this week. Sending hugs 🤗 dear lady.

  31. Linda

    I have felt the pain of suddenly losing just 11 days apar,t 2 best friends. My heart aches for you. Time to grieve is needed. You provide so much comfort to others through your work here on the blog, with the quilting you share and your encouragement to all of us as quilters. May you feel loved as you see so many, around the world, who hold you up in prayer.

  32. Sorry to hear about your cousin. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Some friends are not worth keeping. Sorry you are going through so much at such a tuff time. I really enjoy your blog.

  33. cindy

    Sending hugs!!!! It is heartbreaking when someone we love breaks our trust. Here’s to new beginnings in 2022!!!! Take care.

  34. Kathleen M Cuilan

    Carole, Once again, so sorry for your loss. You can only do what you can to work through this awful situation with your so-called friend.
    My advice, cut her off clean. Negative, mean-spirited, jealous, narssascistic, spiteful, vengeful. None of those types are worth befriending. This is a new year. Look at it as cleansing your spirit, mind and soul! My best wishes to you as you start anew.

  35. Betty Jansen

    There is no hurt greater than betrayal by a friend. I still cry when I think too much about a similar situation many years ago.

    Your double grief may be too much to bear, but my 80 years tell me that time will heal the deep sorrow but heartache is always with you.

  36. Oh, so much hurt at this time of year! My season has been lost too because of the December illness and death of my mother-in-law on New Year’s Day. I will be thinking of you even as we mourn our own loss. Take care of yourself, and sew to feel good. Those Safelight quilts will be loved!

  37. My heart goes out to you in the recent loss of your beloved cousin. And on top of that, the betrayal of a trusted friend. I think we all have suffered from that at one time, but I do know the deep hurt that leaves in your heart.

  38. i’m praying for your comfort and peace on the loss of your cousin. It’s not easy.

    My heart goes out to you on your friend who could not maintain a confidence. Know that we recognize all the good that you do for us each week with your blog. You have demonstrated that you are a kind and generous person.

    Love that red and cream combination and the quilting you’ve done.

    Sending healing and quilting energy your way!

  39. Debbie B

    I’m so sorry to hear of your difficulties. Sending you thoughts, prayers, and comfort. Reading your blog always makes my day better. Hope this helps yours a little.

  40. Sandi Scarlett

    I’m so sorry that you’re going through so much. Sewing is definitely good therapy. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  41. Melanie

    Beautiful work, Carole. You make everything look “perfection.” Oh my gosh–betrayal is simply the worst. Shocking, heartbreaking, the worst. My heart goes out to you with deep sympathies. You can move ahead with the support of your readers (fans) and put that anti-friend behind you. Remember, karma is a bitch. What goes around…. you know the phrase. Sending hugs, m

  42. Cheryl

    I am far away, but my heart is with you. It’s hard to lose someone to death, and so very sad. But losing someone in other ways is a mess, because they are still physically there, but never the same. We are all here for you, doing what we can to bring a little light to our corner of the world in your honor. Hang in there, we love you.

  43. Mary Crawford

    Sorry about the loss of your bestie. It certainly leaves a hole in your heart, especially when so sudden. As for the other friend with a big mouth…..she’s not a friend. It would make me think about what she has said to others over the past 15 years behind your back. You can do better. Others will catch on. Quilt on – always great therapy.

  44. Lynda Duncan

    I personally really like the white thread you used to quilt the red/white safelight quilt. I think it looks great on the back, it makes the quilting pattern really visible, which I love.

  45. Oh, dear Carole, I wish I could just wrap my arms around you and give you the biggest healing hug you ever had. Your heart has had more than its share of grief, for both are great losses and indeed, the latter a betrayal. My heart just hurts for you. I am grateful you have something that helps soothe you and that also does such good. The quilts are exquisite and such a labor of love. I hope you feel all the love from your readers here, many friends you have never met, and know we care.

  46. thedarlingdogwood

    That’s a lot of loss in a short time, both your cousin and the loss of a friendship. I am glad you are finding peace, and comfort in sewing. Many virtual hugs to you.

  47. Julia J. White

    Sorry for your pain with the loss of your cousin. Regarding betrayed confidences, that really hurts but your friend has represented herself well. Now you know. Thank you for all the beauty you bring to the world with your sewing, gifting, beautiful tables, flowers, and focus on nature. I always feel better after seeing your pictures and narratives.

  48. Oh gosh, I am so sorry about your friend’s betrayal. Isn’t it good to have something positive to focus on while you process your grief and loss of friendship? How do people without hobbies ever cope?

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